


Sleep

by TheAwkwardPinCushion



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, Gen, Why do I do this to myself, ptsd!fenris
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 20:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3222536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAwkwardPinCushion/pseuds/TheAwkwardPinCushion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fenris hadn't been seen by anyone for a few days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleep

There was something wrong. Fenris wasn’t as eager to fight as he usually was. He hadn’t been at the Hanged Man like he usually did. It wasn’t like him to be this reclusive. That was why Hawke was on her way to his mansion.

“Fenris,” she said, walking up the stairs. It was oddly quiet.

She stepped over a broken piece of wood on the way to his room, and at first she didn’t see him. She looked around the room, thinking that maybe he had made his way to the pub.

“Please go away,” she heard his voice. It was too quiet, and too small.

Hawke, always the inconsiderate bastard, walked to where he was curled into a tight ball in the corner. “What’s wrong?”

Fenris glared at her, but his eyes looked terrified. “Just go,” he said, angry.

“Not until you tell me why I haven’t seen you for days,” she said. She slid down the wall next to him, and he seemed to flinch away from the closeness. He was shaking.

“I can’t,” he said, wrapping his arms around his knees and pulling them closer to his chest, “just go, please, Hawke.”

He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days. There were dark circles under his eyes and his hair was a mess. There was a thin layer of sweat on his skin, even though it was cool in the room.

“Every time I close my eyes, I see Hadrianna,” he choked out. He didn’t look at Hawke, and she didn’t expect him to. “I can’t sleep, because I can’t see her. I can’t. I…” his voice trailed off. His breathing quickened, and he dug his nails into his palm.

“Fenris,” she said, “breathe.”

Fenris didn’t seem to hear her. He looked like he was somewhere else in his mind, and it didn’t seem to be a happy place. He was pale and he looked half-dead. It was horrible.

“Fenris, listen to me. You’re here. In Kirkwall. You’re not with her anymore. You’ll never have to be with her again,” she said. She knew better than to touch him, but the hair in his face was sticking to his forehead. “Fenris, look at me.”

He snapped his head to look at her, the sweat dripping down his face. He looked terrified.

“I’m sorry,” he said, breaking the brief eye contact they shared. “You shouldn’t have to see me like this.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Hawke said softly, “tell me what’s going on.”

He took a shaky breath and unfolded himself, standing up. “I keep...going back to when Hadrianna would take so much joy out of hurting me. I know I’m not actually there, but...I can feel her. It makes me sick, and I just...I can’t handle it.”

Hawke stood up and looked at him. “You’re strong,” she said, swiping the hair out of his face now that he was really with her, “you can get through this.”

“You don’t know what it’s like to feel things that aren’t happening anymore. It’s horrible. I don’t know if I can,” he said, pacing slightly. “It’s all just...too much.”

“What can I do to help?” Hawke asked.

“There isn’t anything you can do,” he said, defeated. He made his way to the dingy window and leaned against it. “I just wish I could sleep.”


End file.
